


Never Alone

by WaitingForArthur



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Waiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 09:12:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1105041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaitingForArthur/pseuds/WaitingForArthur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is always there for Merlin, even if Merlin doesn't know it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Alone

**Author's Note:**

> A really short drabble for the Merthur Party
> 
> Day Five: Not The End
> 
> Dedicated to everyone on the Blue Team!

Merlin.

Please…please don’t do this.  Go. Live your life. Don’t wait for me, please.

I will return, I promise, but things like this take time. 

I know you’re hurting. I know you want to see me again, but Merlin…I don’t know when I’ll be back.  I know it’s not another 1500 years, but it’s not today or tomorrow or the next day.

It’s puzzled me too. I’ve seen this world go into battle after battle, killing each other.  There’s so much hate in this world you’re living in Merlin.  What happened to our Albion?  I thought…everything we did, everything we concurred, was for what? All this?  I’m not sure if I approve.  I think someone got something wrong along the line.  If I would’ve known this is how the world was going to be…I wouldn’t have gone to Camlann. 

At first, when you told me you wouldn’t be joining me I was so distraught.  It kept me up at night.  Why wouldn’t Merlin, my most loyal and truest friend, stand side by side with me and fight?  You always were there for me, through dragons and battles and magic and I could always count on you.

Maybe that’s why I couldn’t make it out of the battle unscathed, because I didn’t have you there with me.

But you were there, weren’t you? On top of that hill, showing off.  If I knew it was you at the time…I probably would’ve laughed and cheered, because you came back to me.

Merlin…I want to see you again, but destiny or fate or whatever this is that put us in the situation has held me hostage.  I can’t move. I can’t see anything else except you.

I see you sitting on the grassy fields everyday…waiting for me and godammit your tears.  You need to stop, I’ve told you before that no man…no man…

It’s not worth it Merlin.  All these tears you shed are for nothing. They won’t bring me back, they won’t help. God! Please stop Merlin! It kills me knowing I can’t be there to comfort you, to hold you and tell you I’m here, everything’s going to be alright…

I think about you all the time. I hope you know this. There’s nothing else I’d rather do than remember all the times we’ve spent together.

And…I’m sorry that I didn’t accept you for who you were sooner.  I wish you would’ve told me way before Camlann and Morgana and Mordred.  I think everything would be different.  For one thing, you wouldn’t be there and I here.

What’s it like, living without me?

I know what it’s like to still be with you because I see you in everything you do.  You go grocery shopping every Saturday.  I know you prefer green grapes over red.  You volunteer at the local homeless shelter every other weekend.  You’re still as clumsy as ever.  You’ve broken two mugs and one plate in the last month.  You tried traveling the world one time, but you got as far as Egypt and you turned back…You turned back to me.

God. You have no idea how much that hurt.  I was excited for you, Merlin! I thought you were finally going to forget and move on.  I watched you as you packed and save money and made your plans.  You had such great locations picked out, but you didn’t know that I was still with you.  That’s why you came back, because you thought you couldn’t be with me out in the world.

I screamed for you to go back, continue your adventure, but you’re such a stubborn _idiot_.  Watching you run back to the place once known as Avalon and falling to your knees, your suitcase still in your hand, sobbing. Merlin…that wasn’t what I wanted.  You don’t need to worry. I will always be with you.  You could travel all over the world and never be alone, because I don’t want you to be alone.

But yet here you are…fretting that if you take one step out of this small town, you’ll lose me forever.

Merlin. No matter where you are or what you’re doing, when I return I will come straight for you. I promise.

I’ll don your silly fashion and run to you.  I’ve been imagining this day forever. 

When you least expect it I’ll come up behind you and surprise you.  I’ll hold you and I’ll never let go.  You won’t have to be afraid to be alone anymore, because I’ll be there. We’ll be together again….

You understand though, when I come back it’ll be because the world will be in great peril.  There’ll be pain, suffering…death. 

What am I kidding…you’d do anything for me, no matter the circumstances.  We’ll fight through the pain.  We’ll concur suffering. 

It’s death I’m worried about.  You can’t die but Merlin…but I can.  You lost me once, could you handle losing me again?  Could you wait another thousand years for me to come back? 

If…when, I come back Merlin you have to promise me something.  If I should die after bringing peace to the world, don’t mourn. Don’t wait.  Go and live, without me.  It pains me to think of a world where I’m not with you or one where you’ve forgotten me completely, but Merlin, it beats seeing you wasting your days crying and screaming for me.

I miss your warm smile, your contagious laugh.  I haven’t seen these things for years. 

Okay, so maybe I’m asking for two favors here…If I should die, please don’t forget to smile, for me. 

I only ask these two things.  I know you’re hurting. I know you’re not happy, but Merlin, you aren’t alone.

I will return.  I will come back and we will be together again.

But for now…we wait. 


End file.
